We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
