Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
