I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize