actually, I'm a sock model
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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