yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
