So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
