my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
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She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
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Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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