Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
