He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
