it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
