No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
