your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
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She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
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You have to summon your inner elephant
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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