I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."