So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
a bad idea.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.