i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
