Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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