i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
