I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.