It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
vagina is talking i cant
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
