I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
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sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize