yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
