One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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