so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
