i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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