have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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