According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize