My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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