remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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