i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
