im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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