I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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