Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.