so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
