I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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