How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish they made helmets for livers.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
