I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
