false alarm. still invincible.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
