I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize