Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
