the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
