You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
