Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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