I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize