he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
