You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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