Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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