we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
