Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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