booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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