do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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