I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
