she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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