3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
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I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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