Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize