...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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