Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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