matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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