Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
